Into The Substance

On raising a daughter

2011-10-10T08:05:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I have this sudden, intense onset of anxiety. It comes out of nowhere. "O, God. What if I'm doing this parenting thing all wrong?" "What if I'm missing something?" "What if I'm raising a sociopath!?!"

There are no amounts of parenting books that will prepare you for this journey. I read all the ones that were popular 8 years ago. Some of them sent me down the wrong path. I had to adjust my compass and move in a different direction. But the greatest parenting lesson I have learned was not found in a book. Someone spoke this truth to me:

I will fail and she will not will NOT be perfect.

That awakening was so freeing. Up until that point I had been living in fear. Fear that I would somehow screw her up or fear that others would judge me based on my daughter's behavior.

Abby turned 8 yesterday. And she is AMAZING!! Perfect, no. AMAZING, absolutely!! I'm so glad I have not tried to mold her into any dream or plan I had for her. She is growing into the young lady God planned for her to be. And she is so different and so much more amazing than anything I would have thought of.

Abby has an intensity and joy that began to shine from the very beginning in her first full face smiles. She still has those smiles. She also has that emotional intensity that we continue to help her channel and control. This intensity is part of who she is. It can be frustrating at times. But we know it's going to do amazing things for the good of the world one day.

As for me, I still fear the judgement from time to time. It's hard for me to accept that others will in fact judge me because my daughter may not live up to their standards of perfection. But, I'm slowly moving toward acceptance.

Yes, one day Abby will probably need to "work through her issues" with a therapist because I'm an imperfect mom. That's ok. I've already started funding a therapy account for her. I'm kidding, but I've actually thought about it. :)

A change of pace

2011-08-29T08:05:00.003-05:00

Over the past month I've gone from having 3 kids in the house full time to just 1. Last week was my first week with just Henry. I am amazed at the difference! I guess it's been a while since I only had one kid. It feels really distant and strange. Like I'm moving into a new season. I think I am.

It was very quiet last week. I know it's hard to believe being that Henry is 2. But for the most part it was quiet. A great deal of space opened up to me. The space was uncomfortable. I wanted to quickly fill it up with work and activities. But something was telling me otherwise. So I entered in to the quiet and sat there for a while. I resisted the urge to fill it with noise, mostly.

It was a terrifying and amazing experience.

There was time for healing. Time for tears. Time for meditation. Time for listening. Time for breathing. Time for planning.

Time for being.

Yes, this is certainly a new season. I figure I have two choices. I can either embrace the newness and walk into it or be afraid of it and try to manipulate or change it.

This choice is all mine.

The Simple Life

2011-08-16T13:03:00.005-05:00

The latest tech gadgets. The newest fashion trends. A bigger and better house. A new car.

These are all things I once felt I needed in order to be fulfilled. If I just had _____ then I'd be truly happy. But those things never did fill the void.

They just made it bigger...

I'm slowly learning to let go of the stuff. I'm slowing realizing where real meaning can be found. When I think about living simply and deeply, this indescribably peaceful feeling overtakes me. I think this might be the feeling of bliss people talk about. I've been caught up in "stuff" for a long while now. And I'm nowhere near where I want to be. For instance: I'm way too excited about an IPhone upgrade next month! But I think I'm finally heading in the right direction.

So what does this new simple life look like? Well, here are just a few things that make my heart flutter with excitement.

Cooking whole, rich meals with ingredients that I bought from local farmers or grew myself.

Eucharistic meals around our small table with good friends and family.

Meaningful back-porch conversations with my husband after we've put the kids to bed.

Making clothes with my own hands.

Lots and lots of good books.

Just a few of my new favorite things.

A New Voice

2011-08-04T07:07:00.003-05:00

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice ‑
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do ‑
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver

God grant you strength and courage on your journey.

Resting in the Great Mystery

2011-07-29T04:09:00.005-05:00

(icon of the Trinity by Andrei Rublev)

At 4:11 am my mind is racing with thoughts about a blog post I read earlier. It was an excellent blog post created to give us a better understanding of atheists through an interview format. I've been presented over the years with often untrue propaganda about the character and ethics of atheists. Sometimes out of fear, we tend to put groups of people into nice clean boxes and define and label them according to our own very ignorant understanding. I personally detest these boxes.

Anyway, from the interview with the atheist, I gained a better understanding of why it is so difficult for some to believe there is actually a Creator of the universe who is still active today. And honestly, the more educated I become, the more I struggle with my religion. But is this a bad thing? I don't think so.
The "answers" to the questions that some in the modern church have come up with in the past 200 years or so are often just plain ludicrous to me.

Some in the modern Christian church have attempted to provide evidence and answers for all things Christian. This is in response to the age of reason. In my opinion, this is a grave mistake and it has really hurt the church. The very core foundation of Christianity is FAITH: believing in what you cannot see. Yet, we try so hard to come up with the answers for every question.

But how can you explain the incarnation? The virgin birth? The resurrection? Those core beliefs simply cannot be explained. They are a mystery. A beautiful mystery.

So here is where I've landed. I'm choosing to immerse myself in the great mystery of the Holy Trinity. I choose to believe and repeat the Nicene Creed each week even though I'm not sure about the Filioque. Even though I have questions about the creation of the Bible and I wrestle with some of its contents, I choose to believe that it is inspired and it is a Holy book. I'm giving myself over to the Divine. Even though some atheists will probably call me crazy. I can accept that. And even though some Christians may be uncomfortable with the fact that I have some doubts and questions. I will accept that also.

It's 5:17 and I'm going back to bed now.

Getting to know me, getting to know all about me

2011-07-13T13:27:00.005-05:00

I am immersed in the world of the Enneagram these days. If you never heard of the Enneagram, I have two book recommendations for you:
The Enneagram (A Christan Perspective) by Richard Rohr
Discovering Your Personality Type by Riso/ Hudson

This had been such a fascinating and eye-opening study for me! When I first took the Riso/ Hudson Type Indicator test, I had a really hard time accepting the results. My highest number is a 4. The Individualist. I had never considered myself a very dramatic person. But as I read on and contemplated it more, I got it. I am INTERNALLY very dramatic when I'm in an unhealthy place. At my worst, I can be moody, emotionally demanding, self absorbed, withholding, dramatic and pretentious. As much as I hate to admit it, this is very true. In my early 20s I lived there. Now I just visit those dark places occasionally.

So here are a few things I think you should know about the Enneagram

It will be challenging! You MUST be ready to reveal your false self. It is quite unpleasant to identify and accept these dark parts of my personality, but once I do, I can truly see them for what they are and recover from them!

Do not be afraid of the Enneagram! It is a wonderful gift from God to those who are truly searching for their authentic self. It is only a tool to bring us closer to God, others and ourselves.

You may become addicted! I have a really hard time thinking about much else these days and I can't put my books down. Maybe that's because I'm a 4.

Above all enjoy the experience and be open to what it teaches you!

I would love to hear your experience with the Enneagram.

What's your number?

I Feel Your Pain

2011-06-12T17:39:00.006-05:00

I've been an emotional basket case this week. Ups and downs all day every day. Struggling to make sense of it all. At times, just downright depressed. The crazy thing about this is that it's not even about anything going on in my life. You know the phrase, "I feel your pain?"

This is what I do. I don't know why. Somehow I got wired with an extra dose of empathy. I can actually, literally FEEL other people's pain. I've talked with others who have this same issue. Maybe its a "gift" that we've been given, I don't know. But, honestly, sometimes I wish I didn't have this ability. It's feels as if the situation is actually happening to me. And it can take me down.

So I ponder... Why. Where does this come from and what am I supposed to do with it? I don't know all the answers to those questions yet. But I'm seeking. Because I really want to believe this is a blessing rather than a curse. In the past I've run from it. Often the pain is so great that I have distanced myself from friends who were suffering.

Recently, a friend walked through a scary health crisis. I began to sink into a brief period of depression shortly thereafter. Realizing that these two events might be connected, I decided to find ways to help her but from somewhat of a distance. I sent out daily updates to our mutual friends and set up diners for her once she returned home from the hospital. I felt really guilty that I couldn't be more involved. Then I got an email reply from my friend from the hospital. She said she greatly appreciated what I was doing for her and she felt so loved. That email meant the world to me.

Just being aware of my own spirit during others' times of crisis has been helpful. I'm also learning to visit the emotions I feel for others but not to live there. And most important, I'm learning what it really looks like to put someone's life in God's hands. Saying it is one thing, but doing it is much more difficult. I know that I will have to walk through hard times again with people I love and care deeply for. My desire is to learn more about what I can do to maintain peace, hope and strength in my own soul when this happens.

A little summer organization

2011-05-23T13:36:00.002-05:00

I need organization in my life. My brain does not do well with no structure. During the school year, structure happens naturally. The schedule just comes together without any forethought. In the summer, however, it gets messy. There is no schedule and it sends me into a very unproductive place.

So, I'm doing a little advanced preparation this year. I want this to be a fun and happy summer that my kids will always remember. I want to have activities from them to do but not over schedule them. I'm already looking at kid oriented-events and activities and putting them on my calendar just as I would a Dr. appointment. I'm also creating a summer cleaning schedule. It's on a 2 week rotation. Each day I will do a small task so that it doesn't feel overwhelming, but it gets done. And the kids and I will hopefully do several 10 minute tidy ups throughout the day. Just so they don't get too lazy! :)

I don't want to be too rigid about this. I'll leave plenty of room for spontaneity and surprises! WIthin the schedule there will be lazy days. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO busy days. There will be fun trips. There will be lots of swimming! And of course, some weekly scheduled time AWAY from my precious angels. That's a must!

Have you tried this before? What seems to work for you?

My last post. Ever.

2011-05-20T08:40:00.008-05:00

I have to admit, this guy got in my head for a few days. But he didn't bring anything new. The fear was already there. Just needed to be stirred up a bit.

When I was a kid I spent alot of time worrying about the end of the world. I grew up in the 80s during the era of the fall of the Soviet Union. At school we would watch civil defense videos. I can still hear the ominous, low pitched tone of the narrator explaining how to surround yourself with cinderblocks. You would need a few feet of concrete protection to absorb the radiation from the nuclear fallout. That is IF you were unlucky enough to not receive a direct hit. Yep, I and every kid at the school were forced to watch this at least once a year. It was so scary and confusing. I would go home and daydream about just where we could put our wall of cinderblocks.

I was lucky enough to not only get scared to death at school but also at church on Sunday's. The preacher would often take current world events and turn them into end time scenarios. On top of that, the Book of Revelation was preached literally. (Refer to the Left Behind book series for more info.) Now, if you've ever read the Book of Revelation from the Bible, you will know that it speaks of dragons, beasts and other extremely scary things. We were told by a few preachers that these terrifying events would happen literally and probably soon.

So, needless to say, I've spent many years working to undo the damage done. I seem to do welll until some "prophet" comes along and convinces a few people that this is it. Then my mind quickly goes back to that place of adolescent fear. And the "what if" gets stuck in my head and won't go away.

But what is really at the core of my fear?

It's a core belief about God that is fundamentally wrong and dangerous. It's the belief that he is angry at his creation and wants to destroy us. Except the few that behaved well. This is the core belief that those crazy prophets get to and bring to the surface.

So I'm replacing that core belief with a better one. God IS love. Everything about God is loving. He loves his creation. All of us. Including the earth. He is redeeming his creation and restoring it. He doesn't desire to destroy the earth or us! That's what I believe about God.

Sorry Herold Camping, but you're wrong. See you on the 22nd!

The Baptism

2011-05-16T08:05:00.011-05:00

Saturday night was a very special time for our little family. Our 3 kiddos got baptized. Now, most intelligent people do this kind of thing to their children when they are infants. And now I know why. It's pretty tricky to baptise a 7, 4 and 22 month old at the same time.

About 5 minutes before the service, Brennan told Abby that being baptized would hurt. She didn't take that very well. Unfortunately I didn't have time to undo the damage. After a brief homily, we brought the children to the baptism station. Here my parenting was put on display for all to see as my 2 older kids began acting like... kids. Lets just say they had a hard time standing still for 5 minutes! Ted was holding Henry. He REALLY wanted to get down and made that known the whole time. So, we were forced to parent as we desperately tried to engage with the liturgy. This was quite difficult.

Then things changed a bit. It was time for the main event. The baptism. Fr. Kenny called the kids over and they actually stood there... still, by the water. It was nothing short of a miracle. Henry got sprinkled first. Brennan thought it was so funny and started giggling. Then Abby started laughing. Fr. Kenny then sealed the three giggling kids with the oil. It was a beautiful, priceless moment.

So, I'm sure lots of folks have questions about why we chose to baptise our "babies." It's a little different then what we grew up believing. Well, I'll give you the short and sweet answer. We believe faith is a journey and it begins the day we're born. Ted and I have chosen to take very seriously our responsibility and desire to lead our children into faith in Christ. During the baptism we made this commitment along with everyone around us at St. Johns.

Thanks to Fr. Kenny for your patience. You were really tested with this one and you did great! :) Thanks to our photographer and unofficial Godmother, Jen, for taking these shots. :) And thanks to Glenn McClure for standing with us while we figure this whole thing out. :) We love you guys.

Slowing down

2011-05-05T22:15:00.004-05:00

I live my life in fast forward. Always hurrying to get to the next thing. It creates anxiety in me and my family when I do this. There's always tension in the air. Time seems to pass by so quickly.

I can pinpoint 3 reasons as to why I do this to myself and my family.

1. I'm a people pleaser. If I'm late or if I miss something, I will let people down.

2. Procrastination. This is a big one!

3. We have way too much going on.

This has been my life... until now. I started reading this book called 1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are and it has rocked my little world. There are so many nuggets of inspiration, beauty and truth. The main theme of the book is to live life with a constant sense of gratitude. Eucharisteo. It is truly life changing to live this way. To see everything as a gift. To stop and appreciate the little things.

To slow down.

So, I've been trying this new way of living out. And I really like it. Thinking ahead a bit so that I'm not rushing around at the last minute. Slowing down the pace so that I can enjoy the little things that happen along the way. Removing things from the schedule that I don't really have time to do anyway. Letting the house get a little messy. Fully entering into the moment instead of always thinking ahead.

My desire is to continue moving in this direction until it becomes a way of life. A beautiful, more peaceful way of life.

Resurrection Sunday

2011-04-25T22:23:00.004-05:00

And now the completion of my little 3 part Lent series. Lent wasn't fun. But it wasn't really supposed ot be. I needed to sit in those uncomfortable places and stay there for a while.

Here's the really cool thing about it though. Something mysterious happend while I was there. I had a peace that I hadn't felt in years. Peace in the middle of an experience that should have induced a high level of fear. One of those paradoxical things that happens when you practice the Christian faith, I guess.

Another amazing thing happened. Easter was so much more meaningful! Because I had spent so much time contemplating my inability to control my own destiny. Contemplating the fact that nothing in this world or no one in this world can rescue me from death or suffering.

Enter the resurrection. A paradigm shift of epic proportions occurred when Mary Magadline recognized Jesus. (Thanks Kenny)

Jesus died, was very dead for three days and then came back to life. And he promised to raise us from the dead one day too. Here on this earth.

I choose to believe in that future hope.

But it it's not just about the future. It's also about the here and now. Resurrection happens every time we die to our pride and fear and judgement and hate and on and on. We are brought into a new way of living, or "new life" when we die to our old self. We are daily being resurrected.

Here are some thoughts on resurrection that really challenged me this year.

Peter Rollins on denying the resurrection:

Without equivocation or hesitation I fully and completely admit that I deny the resurrection of Christ. This is something that anyone who knows me could tell you, and I am not afraid to say it publicly, no matter what some people may think…
I deny the resurrection of Christ every time I do not serve at the feet of the oppressed, each day that I turn my back on the poor; I deny the resurrection of Christ when I close my ears to the cries of the downtrodden and lend my support to an unjust and corrupt system.
However there are moments when I affirm that resurrection, few and far between as they are. I affirm it when I stand up for those who are forced to live on their knees, when I speak for those who have had their tongues torn out, when I cry for those who have no more tears left to shed.

"Jesus's resurrection is the beginning of God's new project not to snatch people away from earth to heaven but to colonize earth with the life of heaven. That, after all, is what the Lord's Prayer is about."

— N.T. Wright

Good Friday: Suffering

2011-04-23T09:33:00.001-05:00

Suffering

There is suffering all around us. We may live in a wealthy bubble but there's still suffering. Even in the bubble.

There is pain and loneliness and torture and abuse and death and violence and abandonment all around us. All the time. Millions of people are living in hell. Right now, on this earth.

On Good Friday the God of the universe entered into our suffering. He came along side us in our rejection, our torture, our abandonment, our shame, our hell. The God of the universe could have stayed far away but he chose to enter in. He chose to suffer like we suffer.

He can relate to our suffering.

Thoughts on Lent

2011-04-20T13:43:00.004-05:00

Lent has really sucked. This is my first year to really dive into the whole Lent experience. And it's probably been one of the least enjoyable experiences of my life.

I gave up TV for 40 days. I failed and watched TV on several occasions. Learning each time that I'm a failure.

I've done some soul excavation. Each time uncovering dark and destructive places that I didn't even know were there. I thought I was doing pretty good. I was doing all the right stuff. I was so deceived.

I have contemplated what it means to be a human. It is so limited. I will die. My body is decaying. My body is flawed. My soul is flawed. I will never be perfect. There's no amont of health food, no amount of exercise that can save me from death. It is a very sobering thought.

It cant be right to contemplate death. To embrace my human failure. To meditate on my human limitations. Is it? Aren't we supposed to just focus on the good things of life?

Lent has really sucked. And I think that's the point.

To be continued...

I opened the front door

2011-04-13T13:49:00.004-05:00

A confession:

I don't do the neighbor thing very well.

Ill throw out a couple of excuses. First, my struggle with anxiety and depression has kept me somewhat isolated. When I have babies it gets really bad and I've had 3 of them in the past 7 years. With this come very irrational fears and extreme overprotection of my babies. After my first baby, one would have thought I lived in the middle of south central LA. I had this place more secure than the Pentagon. I'm not proud of this. It is what it is.

Secondly, I'm just plain ol introverted. Most of the time. It is really hard for me to get to know anybody. Once I know you, I come out of my shell. But I really struggle with the initial meeting part.

So, all that to say, we spent the first half of our lives here, locked safely away in our home and ventured out only occasionally and mostly into the fenced-in back yard.

One of the greatest growing and healing experiences for me has been to simply open the front door. They say the best way to overcome your fear is to face it head on. That's what this was for me. And it has been powerful! We go out now and ride our bikes up and down the street. I sit on the front steps, drink my morning coffee and wave to the neighbors. We do sidewalk chalk art. And I actually know my neighbors now. They're not scary! In fact they are wonderful people. I'm sad that we missed out on this experience for all of those years. But I can truly appreciate it now.

The best part is this: My kids are playing with other kids in the hood. I'm not passing down the fear and isolation that controlled me for years. And that makes me very happy!

Settling in to my unique self

2011-04-06T08:08:00.003-05:00

I've always felt this sense of isolation. Like I just don't it in. A little different. A little weird. I've really tried to fit in over the years in my various groups of peers. Church groups, school friends, family, work friends and other various affiliation groups.

The desire to be liked and accepted has often led me to adjust my personality, my values, the way i dress, my ideals and other things that make me, me. I've often lived in this place all the while knowing i wasn't be authentic. It felt... gross. But I just wanted to be accepted.

My life journey has finally led me to a place of acceptance. However, this acceptance looks very different than I always dreamt it would. It has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me.

I have begun to accept myself. I have accepted the idea that I will never completely fit in with a particular group. And that's ok. I don't want to loose my unique identity. Myself. I was created this way.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made! And it's the only way I want to be.

Confessions of a non-blogging blogger

2011-04-04T13:03:00.004-05:00

Several people have asked me recently why I abandoned my blog. Honestly, I didn't even really think anyone cared. So there's a twofold answer to that question. Here goes.

I'm gonna summarize the first answer as best I can because it is a LONG story. In short, the past 2 years of my life have been a struggle. I suffered severe postpartum depression after the birth of my third child. About a year ago when my son was around 7 months old, my depression got so bad I basically had a nervous breakdown and came very close to being hospitalized. With the help of some dear friends, my patient and loving husband, my amazing therapist and some great drugs, I have finally come to a good place. I feel strong and healthy now. Whew! So the past 18 months of my life have been the best of times and the worst of times.

Here's the second, more complicated answer. More recently, as I've been in a better place, when I sit down to write something, overwhelming feelings of failure and doubt wash over me. Voices that tell me "why would anyone care what you say," or "who the hell are you to think you have anything to say," and my favorite, "You're not smart enough or gifted enough to write!" scream loudly in my ear. Also, I read other more skilled and professional bloggers write great posts about how it should be done and I know I can live up to that standard. So I just don't try.

So here's my desire. I want to tell those voices to shut up! I want to tell them they have no power over me. I want to remove the pressure of perfection. I want to speak from the heart about issues I really care about. I want to put my stuff out there, even though I may be judged harshly by some.

So I'm going to try and do this blog thing again. No pressure. Authentically. Not for anyone's affirmation. Only because it's something I want to do.

Never Say Never Part 1: Homeschooling

2010-08-08T21:01:00.004-05:00

I'll be honest for a minuate and tell you that I once had a somewhat judgemental and ignorant opinion of homeschooling. In my little town NO ONE home-schooled that I can remember. You just went to public school because that's just what you did. Our school was nice. No real gang or drug problems. The teachers were good people who really enjoyed their job and did it well.

There was always something missing for me though. We didn't have a music program, no foreign languages were offered and no art classes. It was just the basics and a couple of sports options. I remember seeing my cousin's private school summer reading list and feeling very sad that I didn't get a summer reading list. I maybe had one or two book assignments at most. I should add that, from what I hear, things are much better now. The school has added music, foreign languages and several other new courses.

One of the main reasons we chose to move to Williamson county is because of the public school system here. The statistics are pretty remarkable when compared to the rest of the country. So our "plan" was to send our kids to some of the finest public schools in the country. The plan began to change, however, when I started reading about the different ways of educating children. Furthermore, my judgements and ignorance were completely obliterated as i developed relationships with homeschool moms. I met so many women from different walks of life who were choosing to homeschool because of the freedom and unlimited opportunities that it can bring to the educational experience.

One of the main reasons I've become so enticed by homeschooling is the desire to learn with my kids. A good friend, who is one of the coolest homeschool moms ever, once shared with me about the joy and adventure of learning with her children. Reading the books that she never got to read. Going on field trips with them. Seeing the wonder and excitment in their eyes as they learned and explored. Experiencing that together.

So, yes, I am now considering homeschooling. (Collective GASP!!) I don't have anything against public schools. That's NOT why I'm considering it. Homeschooling has simply become very appealing to me. In particular, the Classical model of education is very appealing to me. If I could afford it, I might send my kids to classical school. But we cant so the next best option would be to homeschool them.

There's a big problem though. I am a terrible teacher and I have very little patience! I'm not sure my kids or I would survive the year if we were learning together 5 days a week. I also want the children to experience all that our schools have to offer: group class settings, social development opportunities, clubs and groups, and cultural diversity to name a few.

So I've decided to take a small first step. My goal this year is to supplement Abby's public school education with some Classical homeschooling in the afternoons and weekends. I will attempt to supplement art appreciation, music appreciation, ancient history and ancient reading assignments with some memorization thrown into the mix. I'm hoping the school will work with me in coordinating reading assignments so that we can make this work!

My disclaimer will always be: To each his/ her own! This is what we've decided. We're crazy, I know. I'll keep you updated on our progress! Please let me know if you've tried this approach or know someone who has. I'm gonna need all the help I can get!

For more info on the classical model of education go here

Food

2010-07-17T13:11:00.002-05:00

Our family has been on a journey over the past couple of years of changing the way we eat. It's not something we're doing over night. We still have a LONG way to go. But we're trying. We are becoming more aware that the food we put into our bodies can impact our health and wellness.

This is a new way of thinking for me. Before, I didn't really ask questions. My main focus at the grocery store was "how can I save money." I blindly trusted the "system" to protect my family from deadly food diseases or chemicals. Then my eyes were opened.

I recently learned about a pesticide called malathion that is used to break down the nervous system of insects. It is commonly used on some of the fruits and vegetables that we frequently eat. Now, I don't know about you but that's a bit scary! That same chemical is going into the little bodies of my three kids? I don't think so!

Certain foods we frequently eat have been linked to all kinds of diseases: heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, just to name a few. One of my favorite parts of the documentary Food Inc, is when they discuss the actual cost of food. That 99 cent hamburger that we think is really cheap is really not. The cost of health care and the environmental impact of that "cheap" hamburger is actually very expensive. I'm not advocating that all disease is caused by eating bad foods. I fully understand that some diseases are genetic and there's not much we can do to stop them. However, there is so much research and evidence to suggest that we can potentially fight off disease by making better food choices.

So when we began making these changes, I thought it was going to be difficult. And I thought it was going to really suck. I was really going to miss those fast food burgers and fries. Well, i couldn't have been more wrong! The food we eat now is so delicious and satisfying and we eat less because we savor and enjoy every last bite! We eat real food. And we eat lots of it.

Are we completely giving up fast food and bad food? Absolutely not! Everyone has different goals. Our goal is to eat whole foods as much as possible with an occasional fast food meal here and there. I'm a sucker for Chick Fil A!

I hope this post doesn't make anyone feel judged or overwhelmed. That's not my intention at all for writing about this. I simply want to encourage usu to begin thinking about the food that we put into our bodies. Do a little research and see what small steps you can take to begin the journey to more healthy eating.

A couple of great resources:

Food Inc

Food Rules by Michael Pollan

Broccoli Cupcake

Happy eating!

Changin' It Up

2010-07-13T14:19:00.003-05:00

I'm doing a little blog redecorating today. It's been a while and my blog needed a little TLC. i love Blogger's new template choices! Me thinks I'll be changing it up more frequently because of all the fun new options. My friends will be the first to tell you, I don't do well with alot of options.

2010-05-11T09:43:00.002-05:00

Hello world! I've been conspicuously absent, I know. I will fill you in on some of the reasons why... later. In the meantime, please read this great post from my friend Lori about how you can continue to help with flood relief efforts. If you are a SAHM like me with little ones, you may be asking "What can I possibly do to help?" I so badly want to be out busting up drywall and pulling up carpet. I just can't do that with an infant and toddler in tow.

Here are a few things we CAN do. If you have any other ideas, please leave them in the comments below. I'd love to hear them!

Lori's list

Unreal

2010-01-25T15:00:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I wonder why I waste my time trying to look like someone who does not exist. The media gives women an unrealistic expectation of beauty that we will never be able to acheive.

Because it's not real.

Why cant we get this? Why cant we just embrace who we are?

Our flaws, our imperfections, our differences.

Feast your eyes upon the lies:
Newsweek.com article Unattainable Beauty

Love This!

2010-01-08T09:49:00.001-06:00

HT: Chad

Women's Wellness Weekend

2010-01-06T11:25:00.000-06:00

Being in love

2009-10-06T16:13:00.002-05:00

My almost 6 year old just got home from school and declared that she is in love with Colin. I asked her "what does it mean to be in love?" she replied "it's when you see someone in more than one place. I saw Colin at church and at school so now we're in love.

Thank God that's all it means right now! I'm not ready for that drama

Awake...

2009-10-05T09:36:00.002-05:00

Thought I would direct you to one of my favorite posts ever by one of the most "enlightened" people I know. I want to be awake!

Paramore brings MTV to Franklin

2009-09-23T09:24:00.003-05:00

It's pretty safe to say that Paramore are the biggest rock stars in Franklin, Tennessee, which is why it's rather strange that they can wander its picturesque streets (or ride around them on bikes) without receiving as much as a wayward glance from anyone.

more here

true restfulness...

2009-09-14T15:10:00.002-05:00

"...we make restfulness yet another activity, something we do, something we are refreshed by... then we return to normal life. True restfulness, though, is a form of awareness, a way of being in life. It is living ordinary life with a sense of ease, gratitude, appreciation, peace, and prayer. We are restful when ordinary life is enough."

from The Shattered Lantern by Ronald Rolheiser

This is something I truly long for...

Dorian Gray

2009-09-03T06:23:00.003-05:00

Yes!!!

(HT: Jesus Needs New PR)

Thought for the day: Enjoy

2009-08-25T07:57:00.003-05:00

For some reason I have a difficult time enjoying the moment. Little moments, big moments, it doesn't matter. I often find myself worrying about what I need to be doing. Or I find myself feeling guilty for these moments when there are so many who are hurting or in some sort of pain. I know that sounds crazy. It's just what I tend to do.

So this morning I made a commitment to be more intentional about enjoying. It is amazing all of the enjoyable moments I have had just in the past hour!

Here are just a few:

Snuggling with a sweet baby.
Listening to the birds chirp.
Feeling the cool, crisp air.
Watching my daughter get on the school bus.
A warm cup of fresh coffee.
The sound of silence.

Yes, the thoughts and worries have tried to creep in already but I'm taking them captive and throwing them away! I will choose to enjoy this day.

On Friendship...

2009-08-21T10:26:00.002-05:00

The greatest gift my friendship can give to you is the gift of your Belovedness. I can give that gift only insofar as I have claimed it for myself. Isn't that what friendship is all about: giving to each other the gift of our Belovedness?

(From Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World by Henri Nouwen)

Grocery Saving Strategy

2009-08-17T11:17:00.004-05:00

I have found myself among the ranks of those who have ventured into the couponing world to save money on grocery and household items. When I first began this adventure I was all in. I quickly realized though that I could not sustain the level of commitment that it took to do what I was doing with 3 kids under 5 under my roof. So, instead of giving up completely, I decided to modify to fit my lifestyle.

I'm writing this post to help others who are in the same position. I simply can not to go to 3 or 4 different grocery and drug stores which is what you have to do to realize the big savings. However, I have been able to trim 150 to 200 a month off of our household budget just using my modified approach. We consider that a substantial savings here at the Slusser house!

So here are a few bullet points for my system that might help you as you come up with your own plan of action.

- Each week I save the coupons booklets found in the Sunday newspaper. I put the date on them and place them by date in a large folder with clear plastic sleeves. I do not clip until time to use. Clipping is overrated. :)

- I shop at ONE STORE ONLY! That store is Publix.

- On Wednesday the nice lady over at Southern Savers posts her weekly list of Publix coupon match-ups and sale items. This list is key!! I copy and paste it into a word doc so that I can delete anything that I dont need and keep the rest for a shopping list. She makes it so easy to match up the coupons to the sales. She also posts a link to printable coupons which I use frequently also. And her service it FREE!

- Stockpiling is another key element of my system. I stockpile my favorite bread, cereals, snacks, sauces, coffee, etc when the prices are the lowest and I NEVER have to pay full price for these items. I cant stress how important this is!!

-I plan ahead and plan my menu around what is on sale that week and what I have in the pantry. This includes meat and vegetables. In-season vegetables are usually the cheapest and they have the best flavor!

Here are some examples for what I pay for certain items using this system:

Bread: 1.80 for Arnold's whole grain which is my favorite bread!
Whole wheat pastas: free to .60 cents
Name brand cereal: usually 1.00 to 1.50 sometimes free
Coffee: 8 o'clock coffee 1.50 to 2.50 each (this is great coffee!)
Spaghetti sauces: never pay over 1.00 and sometimes free for name brand sauces.
Toothpaste: free to .75 cents.

This is the system that has worked for me. It takes me about an hour each week to get everything organized. Hope it helps you as you come up with your own plan! I will be happy to answer any questions you may have in the comment section.

A fun family event

2009-08-13T13:42:00.002-05:00

So this is one of those informational only posts. And sorry, but this is for WC residents.

I would highly recommend the Williamson County Fair this year! We went last night and had a blast. The only problem was, I forgot my camera! Our family of 5 got in for just 6 bucks because someone was gracious enough to give us a buy one get one pass. This is because I forgot the one I printed out! We ate before we went and were able to skip the greasy junk food. The kids were having so much fun they didn't even miss the food. The best part is the farm animal exhibit. It is amazing. The have everything from gigantic horses to alpacas. We went straight to the animal exhibit so that the kids would hopefully be getting tired before we got to the rides. It worked! We only did a few rides because each ride cost 4 to 6 bucks for the two kiddos!

You can do the fair on a tight budget. It just requires a little thinking things through before hand and sticking to your guns when the kids start whining. The look on their faces as they rode those rides and saw all of the amazing farm animals was worth every penny spent and more!

Today is the last BOGO day. Here's the link to a coupon.

I'm back!

2009-08-13T13:27:00.002-05:00

Hey friends. I'm feeling a strong urge to get back into the blog world again. For a while I was feeling dry. When I tried to blog, nothing would come. I wrestled with why I had a blog and if it had any importance whatsoever.

So, for some reason, I'm feeling the call to get this thing going again! I want to share with you some things that have been going on with me. I'm going to put myself out there and share with you some things that are pretty vulnerable. I know I'm risking alot by doing this. There are people who will judge. There are those who will not understand. But I can't worry about them. I am called to share my heart and this is a way that I can do that right now.

Not every post will be deep. Some will be purely informational or just plain ol fun. Some will be interesting to you, others will probably bore you to death. I will talk about politics, religion, and other loaded topics and you probably wont agree with me about everything. This is my blog so it will be about my perspective on these issues. Hopefully we can keep the discussion real but respectful. And yes, please share your point of view. I want to hear from you in the comments! Dialogue makes the blog world so much more interesting!

Thanks for listening. And please let me know if I have not linked you on my side bar. Link love is greatly appreciated!

Blog Neglect

2009-05-27T21:53:00.003-05:00

My friend Jen told me tonight that she is tired of seeing the same picture every time she visits my blog. I know! I've been neglecting my blog and I have no excuses. So, I will attempt to post more frequently.

Since nothing is coming to the forefront of my mind to post about, I will give you a quick baby update.

Little man Henry will be here in 3 to 4 weeks! We are all so excited to meet him. I'm pretty sure he's ready to enter the world because he likes to stretch out alot. He especially likes to stretch out on my bladder and my hips! I also think he might be my first baby with hair because of the massive amount of heartburn I'm experiencing. His ultrasound picture looks alot like his big brother and sister. I'm hoping that he might just look a little like his mama though, unlike his bro and sis! I guess it doesn't really matter because they're all so darn cute!

My parents are graciously watching the precious cherubs this week while Ted and I "get stuff done" around the house. We're calling this our little staycation. I think we really just needed rest though because not much has been done this week.

Promise I'll try really hard to keep you updated on Henry's upcoming arrival!

Our Baby

2009-03-19T19:09:00.000-05:00

kids...

2009-03-13T22:27:00.002-05:00

It's funny how kids can say the sweetest things that make you feel so good in one breath,(see post below) and then in the next, completely send you back down to reality.

Riding home the other day from school, we're talking about how firemen sometimes have to rescue cats from trees. When out of nowhere comes, "Mom, when you die we can get a cat." (I'm allergic to cats)

Thankfully, when I asked her what she would prefer to have, me or a cat, she chose me. :)

My Twin

2009-03-08T22:54:00.002-05:00

I got my hair cut last week and my daughter loved it so much she decided to get the same hair cut. Now she tells everyone that we're twins. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

There's no place like Walmart

2009-03-05T17:58:00.002-06:00

I was able to get a pedicure while I waited on an oil change today! If I had thought about it, I would have brought my dog for a grooming, too. Now all they need is a kid's play area and a walk in medical clinic, which probably wont be to far away.

Surviving the Economic Crisis

2009-03-02T08:40:00.002-06:00

Surprisingly, the current economic crisis has actually had a mostly positive effect on my family. I'd like to preface what I'm about to say with this: As a suburban middle class family, I can't even begin to pretend that we're struggling. We still have jobs and a sufficient income, which is more than lots of people can say right now. So, we're trying to watch our own spending so that we can help those in our own back yard who are not fairing as well. We're all in this together!

So, here are some things that we're doing to cut costs around here:

Consigning! My goal is to buy almost all of my kid's clothes on consignment this year. So far, I've had great success with the sales in our area. Others are doing the same and it's working out great for everyone! The deeper issue for me is not feeling like my kids have to keep up with the latest fashion trends. They are adorable non matter what adorns them!

Coupons, coupons, coupons! We started doing this a year ago and it has revolutionized how we do grocery shopping. I would estimate we saved a couple of thousand dollars last year on groceries. 2 great resources for me has been thegrocerygame.com and faithfulprovisions.com. We also use those clipper coupons for restaurants and we share food! Carrabbas is a great place to share a meal because they're so huge. Works for our budget and our waistline!

Less trips to Target! When I first became a SAHM, one of our regular outings was Target. I know... crazy! I was board, we needed to get out of the house and it was close. No longer! We go to Target only when we need something now. During the winter our outings now consist of the library, the mall playground, chick fil a, McDonalds and of course the YMCA.

Finally, for me it was all about a heart change. I'm slowly beginning to understand that relationships are where it's at, not how much stuff you buy or what your house looks like. There are always deeper issues that drive what we do and I'm finally working on those issues. Believe it or not, that has been the best thing for our family economic condition!

My new favorite coffee

2009-02-14T10:47:00.004-06:00

LaMai Coffee. I had my first cup this morning. Wow! The aroma is amazing and the flavor does not disappoint. The story behind the coffee makes it much more valuable though.

The La Mai Coffee Story

La Mai is an organic, fairly traded coffee that is bringing hope to the people of northern Thailand. Farmers who once grew opium poppies and were central to the drug trade, now grow high quality coffee beans instead. International charity Bright Hope World pays above Fair Trade prices for these beans giving the farmers a living wage.

La Mai beans are then shipped directly to the US and roasted with care in small batches. This captures the unique regional flavors and produces a great tasting cup of coffee. La Mai Coffee is sold whole bean or freshly ground with wholesale profits going back to Thailand to fight child prostitution.

Order here.

Drink compassionately.

Thoughts on blogging

2009-02-08T09:00:00.002-06:00

I've been feeling a little guilty about not blogging lately. I could come up with all kinds of excuses about why I've been a slacker lately. But, I decided instead to just lay down my expectations for this blog so that there will not be any confusion and we can all let each other off the hook.

Here's what you can expect: I will not be blogging every day. When I do create a new blog post, facebook or google reader will tell you. So, you don't need to come and check my blog every day to see if I posted something new.

Yes, this blog is still alive and active. I apologize to those of you who have been checking every once in a while only to find the same post over and over again. I know that must be frustrating.

Thanks for caring about what I have to say.

Looking back/ Looking forward

2008-12-31T16:26:00.003-06:00

As I think back over 2008 I can't help but remember the good and the bad. Wisdom came more and more this year and I gained more healing and understanding than ever before. There were many successes, no doubt, and I acknowledge them and thank God for them.

But, there was the ugly as well. I continued to spend a lot of time under the dark clouds of fear and mistrust. Those are the ugly clouds that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life, but will hopefully continue to get smaller and smaller until one day, I will hardly know they're there.

So this year, all I can do is continue the journey toward true freedom, taking it one baby step at a time.

Happy new year!

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

2008-12-22T15:11:00.002-06:00

Not sure what these poor animals did to deserve this kind of treatment. I was told that they'd been bad and were in jail. I'm going to try not to get on my daughter's bad side!

Who do you love??

2008-12-17T21:24:00.002-06:00

(a couple of letters can make a big difference :)

Important day tomorrow

2008-12-15T14:52:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is a very special day, hopefully. Tomorrow, Abby will perform in her last pre-school Christmas show and Brennan will perform in his first. I am so excited about the only opportunity to see both of my kids in the same Christmas program. It will possibly be the only time that happens. They are both excited also and have been singing their songs for weeks now.

Here's the catch: Williamson County Schools must not close tomorrow! If schools close, then the performance is cancelled.

So I'm praying that the weather will not get too bad tonight so that tomorrow, the show will go on!

Amazing production!

2008-11-20T18:14:00.001-06:00

For those of you who didn't watch this on Brody's site, here you go.

Incredible!

My least favorite birthday gift

2008-11-12T14:34:00.003-06:00

I just had to show you the lovely birthday gift that my ever so thoughtful friends Jon and Jen gave me. They know me so well! (sarcasm)

I'm thinking Jon will really like the Hillary Clinton autobiography I get him for Christmas. Yes, I think that will be perfect!
:)

Happy Election Day!!!

2008-11-04T09:04:00.002-06:00

Get some free stuff today for voting!

Obama lies part 2

2008-10-27T09:09:00.002-05:00

As a follow up on a blog post I did a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to share a little research with you. As soon as I receive a video or quote or audio clip about Obama, I start researching. So far, everything that I have received, has been taken way out of context and twisted to make him look bad. Everything.

Here's an example:
Twisted video

Actual video

If you need more examples, I have plenty.

Here's an interesting article on why this is happening.

I can't wait until this election is over!

A great church model!

2008-10-22T15:25:00.002-05:00

A new church congregation gathered for its first worship service Sunday, driven by a simple mission: to give away all of its good will offerings to people who need it.

Doing that, they said, would allow them to "love God and his people, well."

read the rest here.

(HT: what if)

Here's another great church model thechurchatspringhill.com.

A fall favorite

2008-10-17T21:21:00.003-05:00

I made one of my favorite dishes this week. Butternut squash soup! I roasted the squash and then chopped it up with some other tasty ingredients. I pared it with a spinach salad with fresh pears and complimented it with a nice, light Gewurztraminer. My first choice was the Arrington Vineyard Riesling but they didn't have it in the cooler and I'm bad about not planning ahead.

I highly recommend the recipe. You can find it here.

Cooking with fresh, seasonal ingredients is one of my favorite things to do!

Fear and Politics

2008-10-17T13:42:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while I wake up early in the morning and begin to think about very frightening things. I'm not sure why this happens. Maybe it comes from a dream that I just had. I hate it. It's usually some sort of worse case scenario that I have created in my mind and I get scared to death.

This morning it happened. I awoke to thoughts of Barack Obama really being a sleeper terrorist agent who is going to destroy America within slowly, once he becomes president. I thought of all kinds of terrible things. Things about my children. About things that happen in other countries that don't happen here.

I thought about these things for a while and then it hit me. "What the hell are you doing, Kari??" You allowed all of the emails and recent convos to actually get to you! Our CIA, FBI, homeland security and special forces are busting up terror cells every day around the world. In remote baron regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan, they find these cells and destroy them. Don't you think they do extensive background checks on people who might just be the next leader of the free world? Even John McCain has defended Obama against these lies at his rallies.

It really frustrates me that people, mainly Christian, choose to spread their message through fear. I fell for it. The bottom line is this: We all must vote on the candidate who closely reflects our values and ideology. Can't we respect each other's right to do that?

I believe John McCain and Barack Obama are both honorable men. I believe they are both sincere and would both make great presidents. My ideology and values are more closely in line with one of those two men. Therefore, I will be voting for that person. I'm not voting based on one particular issue. I'm looking deeper into issues this year. Some issues are much more complicated then some people want you to believe.

So please don't send me any more fear based emails.

I've made my decision and I know who I'm voting for. I respect your right to make yours.

Thanks for letting me rant just a bit!

"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are all of the same body."

Ephesians 4:25

I love the fall!

2008-10-13T22:22:00.004-05:00

It seems like when fall hits, so do the activities! This week has been full of them.

Thursday night we celebrated my daughter's 5th birthday! Where does the time go? We had a party at Chucky Cheese. She was so happy. She felt so special all day. That night I awoke to crying. I went into her room to check on her. She said, "I lost my medal and I can't find it anywhere!" She had worn her gold birthday medal to sleep and I had taken it off when I went in to make sure she was ok. The next day she wore it to school.

Friday night we went to Arrington Vineyard with some friends and had a picnic. It was wonderful! I highly recommend it! Make sure you carry candles with you, though, because it gets dark!

Saturday we went to our friend Kinsley's 1st birthday party and then finished off the weekend on Sunday with a church picnic.

I love weekends filled with fun, friends and family!

My favorite Screwtape Quote

2008-10-03T10:34:00.002-05:00

In the words of Screwtape:

The humans live in time but our Enemy (God) wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point in time which they call the present.

For the present is the point at which time touches eternity.

From The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

My new favorite recipe website

2008-09-30T23:01:00.002-05:00

The best recipe website on the www right now is, hands down, recipezaar.com. This site is the best idea since sliced bread.

Here's why:

It has the most extensive database of recipes that I have found on the Internet. Please prove me wrong if you can, because I'm always looking for new recipes.

It calculates the nutritional information! This is my favorite thing about the site.

Prints out easy to read, recipes that you can file away.

You can print out easy to read grocery shopping lists and even have them sent to your phone!

Bookmark recipezaar.com today!

(works for me Wednesday)

Chocolate and new friends

2008-09-30T21:48:00.005-05:00

Last Friday we had the delightful opportunity to hang out with Franklin's most famous chocolatier, Bethany Thouin and her beautiful family. Bethany is one of the many brilliant women in this area who are influencing the world through their art. She cooked an amazing meal and we ended the evening, of course, with fruit and chocolate fondue! It was delicious!

I also got a sneak peak of Bethany's first book, Chocolate Covered Friendship , published by Thomas Nelson. You can get it here.

(Watercooler Wednesday)

My Saturday

2008-09-29T20:31:00.005-05:00

I went up to the Timberwood neighborhood north of Nashville on Saturday and helped build a house! Actually, I broke apart dirt clumps pretty much all day. But, I got to practice my landscaping skillz! Plus, I got to hang with some awesome CrossPoint people and the future homeowners of the lovely house below. It's amazing what these guys go through to get a habitat house.

Yanathan and his mom Shelia will live here with 4 of his siblings once they complete almost 400 hours of classes and work. And they will have to pay a monthly mortgage just like the rest of us. Yanathan is currently attending Lipscomb university and hopes moves back to his home country of Ethiopia once he becomes a doctor. I really enjoyed meeting him, his mom and his grandfather, who worked harder than anyone there that day! He also brought along some of his cute Lipscomb college buddies who helped out all day.

It was so nice to get outside of mysef for a day and focus on helping others.

You have to watch this!

2008-09-14T16:41:00.002-05:00

I remember mentioning during the RNC that Sarah Palin looked a little like Tina Fey. Well, I had no idea! Thank you SNL!

I'm sorry

2008-09-09T10:10:00.002-05:00

If you are my friend, my church, my family, my God, my house, my flower bed or my blog I apologize. I know. I have been neglecting you lately. I didn't realize how hard it would be to go from 0 jobs to 2 part time jobs at once. I promise that I'm trying to work out my schedule so that I don't continue this craziness.

Be careful what you pray for :)

The Ted You May Not Know

2008-09-05T17:17:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is my husband Ted's birthday. In honor of him, I have posted a lovely video taken last weekend of Ted doing Karaoke. You won't want to miss this.

Happy Birthday Ted!

Don Miller and the DNC

2008-09-02T23:40:00.003-05:00

I'm a little late to this party but I'll post it anyway because I promised some friends that I would. And I cannot break my promises!

Here's the christianitytoday interview with Don regarding the prayer.

The woman at the pool

2008-08-22T20:45:00.003-05:00

Going to the pool for our family is quite chaotic. There's no relaxing involved for me. I'm usually carrying a kid and chasing another. My kids get separated and sometimes I feel as though I'm going to have to choose one life over another. (I'm being melodramatic here. I know that someone would step in and help me if needed.) My kids steal other kids toys. The ones that we bring are never good enough. And one kid would prefer hanging out around the pool instead of in it.

In the midst of this chaos today at the pool, I saw my future walking in. She looked so peaceful. She had a small bag hanging from her shoulder and a towel draped across her other arm. I imagined that her bag contained, amongst other things, a drink, a 100 calorie snack pack and a great fiction novel.

She had done her time. She had experienced the chaotic years at the pool and now she was reaping the reward. She is the mom who's kids just started school this week.

So I will cherish these chaotic moments but I will also look forward to being that woman with the small bag and the towel draped across my arm.

I'm Ready

2008-08-20T23:03:00.003-05:00

A site record!!

2008-08-20T23:01:00.003-05:00

So far today, there have been 900 page views on my site. Not sure why the sudden jump in stats but I'll take it. Welcome all!

Perrin Lamb

2008-08-19T22:35:00.005-05:00

Sunday night we went up to Nashville to see a friend play at 3rd and Lindsley. Perrin Lamb is a local Nashville artist. He just released a new EP, Feels Like Home, and is getting lots of buzz right now. He's also this week's local lightning artist spotlight on Lightning 100. So go to WRLT.com and show some support!

(Watercooler Wednesday)

McCain, Obama, Rick Warren, CNN, Tonight

2008-08-16T00:39:00.004-05:00

John McCain and Barack Obama on stage for the first time in a live forum moderated by Pastor Rick Warren. Tonight at 7:00 CST on CNN.

Should be interesting!

(On a side note, I just realized that Blogger has yet to enter the name Barack Obama into their spell check system. One would think that would have happened by now.)

It has begun

2008-08-13T15:59:00.003-05:00

So last night I found my daughter perusing the Target sale ad for this week. She was very interested in the front page. She spotted a Nintendo DS and hasn't been the same since.

Here's how it went down:

Mommy, we don't have enough dollars for this?

Yeah, that's a special item honey, and you would need to wait for a special occasion to get it. Maybe you could ask Santa for one.

Abby: Yeah!... A few minutes later Abby looked very concerned. "Winter is so far away." When dad got home I overheard her trying to manipulate him into taking her to target and getting it. Thankfully, it didn't work.

She went to sleep with the ad in her hand last night.

I totally remember drooling over the sales ads but I think I was 7 or 8, not 4!

My life

2008-08-11T21:44:00.002-05:00

So it's been awhile since I last updated. I have a couple of new things on my plate these days.

First, I'm going be coordinating the cre:ate arts conference this year. I'm so excited about this! I've been to almost every cre:ate conference for the past 8 years. Each year I am challenged and stretched beyond what I could have imagined.

Secondly, I got certified this past Saturday to teach Zumba. I fell in love with Zumba almost a year ago. I decided to get certified as an instructor because it has become a passion for me and it brings me such joy and happiness. I want to share the love!

Finally, our Legends of the Flame event was last Thursday night. It was a huge success! Thanks to Taj and Eddie George, we were able to raise major funds and awareness for The Refuge Center. Thanks to all who supported the event!

Politics

2008-08-08T13:54:00.003-05:00

My friend William just wrote one of the most inspiring blog posts I have ever read. I, too am getting really tired of the divisiveness among Christians when it comes to politics. If you want to know how I feel about it, read his article here. I commend you, William, for being vulnerable and speaking truth with love.

Grieving with Hope

2008-08-07T15:57:00.002-05:00

Here's the GMA interview with the Chapman family. Have your tissue ready. The interview was beautifully done. I have some much admiration for this family.

My Latest Embarrassing Moment

2008-08-05T23:30:00.002-05:00

So I was on my way home from the grocery store tonight and I started thinking about something that I've been struggling with for a while. I have this nagging fear issue that can become debilitating and controlling if I let it. So, like any sane person, I did a little self talk on the way home. By the time I got to my driveway, I was quite emotional.

I sat in my driveway and finished kicking myself in the butt very verbally and with lots of emotion. It was then that I noticed my neighbor sitting on his front porch watching me and looking quite concerned for me. Needless to say I was embarrassed so I tried to cover it by pretending that I was talking into my phone. I don't think he bought it though.

I am now officially the "crazy" neighbor.

For your entertainment

2008-08-04T14:24:00.002-05:00

This is one of the funniest posts ever! Especially to a girl from Mississippi. Read it here

The best part is the comments.

Thoughts On Art

2008-07-30T14:46:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I took some being time and went to the Frist Center to look at art. I was hoping to catch the Monet to Dali exhibit but it had already ended. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I realized that I would be viewing mostly minimalist, modern art in an exhibit called Color as Field.

I picked up the brochure that detailed the exhibit and began to read. I really didn't get it. But I would try. I would try because I knew that I needed to be stretched. I needed something that wasn't to easy. Sometimes we need have our ideas, of what we think good art is, challenged. I read and read. I stared and stared. I still didn't get it. And then I remembered a quote from her professor that Madeleine L'Engle wrote about in Walking on Water, "We do not judge art, it judges us."

So I began to allow those simple paintings to judge me. To examine me. I opened my heart to them. What followed was an amazing, spiritual experience. As I experienced this, I couldn't help but remember this quote from the book:

"There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation."

(watercooler wednensday)

Thrid Day album drops today

2008-07-29T16:05:00.003-05:00

Third Day's new album was released today. I got to hear a few songs several months ago and they are amazing! Third Day never dissappoints and keeps raising the bar with each new release. They are one of the few Christian bands that I continue to listen to because of the level of art that they produce.

And an added bonus: They will be performing on the Leno show tonight!

Finally, congrats to Mark and Stephanie on the birth of your new baby girl, Katherine Marlow Lee!

A Night With Champions

2008-07-28T14:42:00.003-05:00

Meet The Stars and Hear The Stories of Pro Football’s Early Days In Tennessee!!

The Legends of the Flame event will truly be the first of its kind, bringing the foundation of the Tennessee Titans early years in Nashville together to reflect on the team’s move from Houston, its first years in Tennessee, and its eventual appearance in the Super Bowl.

The event is hosted by Eddie George. Former Titans greats Frank Wycheck and Kevin Dyson are also scheduled to appear, along with several other memorable Titans.

Each ticket includes a buffet meal, and the event will include dialogue from each player about the most memorable and franchise-shaping plays in the team’s early history.

A silent and live auction will also take place, and feature some one-of-a-kind items as well as incredible experiences with the personalities in attendance.

The event benefits The Refuge Center for Counseling; Williamson County’s leading counseling center, and the Domestic Violence Intervention Center.

Thurs., August 7th
7 PM (VIP Meet and Greet begins at 6:30 PM)
The Factory in Franklin
Tickets are just $150
Tables of 10 available for $1,500
VIP Tables (front row and include exclusive Meet & Greet) are $2,000
Order by phone at 615-255-0711
Or online at www.dvictn.org

refreshingly brilliant political satire

2008-07-26T08:05:00.003-05:00

He ventured forth to bring light to the world

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

read the rest here.

(HT: What If)

He's 2!

2008-07-21T14:30:00.003-05:00

In his own words,"I'm 2 ears ol." My how the time flies. I didn't believe them when they told me it would. I believe it now. I can still see that little 8 and 1/2 lb bald headed boy as the Dr handed him to me. I was afraid. I didn't know what I was going to do with a boy. I knew girls. I had experience there, but boys?

I can't express how much I love having a boy! I love to watch him explore, run, jump climb and play. I love to watch him investigate how things work and figure things out. I love his laugh. I love hearing him sing. I love watching him watch his daddy. Oh, but little boys love their mamas. And that makes me very happy!

Happy birthday little man. You are so precious to me!

The death of a dream

2008-07-15T23:20:00.004-05:00

While driving to the gym yesterday I decided it would be a good time to have the convo with my 4 year old daughter about what to do this fall. I asked her if she would like to take dance lessons this year. She said no. I tried everything I could to convince her that she would love it. Still no. I then asked her about soccer. Yes! She became very excited about the convo when we started talking about playing soccer.

Last year she took some dance classes and she played soccer. Soccer stuck, dance didn't. This is the death of my dream. Seeing my daughter on that stage in her recital dress. It will probably never happen. I'm going to be ok though because I know that's just not who she is. She would rather be on the field kicking and defending. She's a tough chick and I'm am learning to accept this and celebrate it! That's who God created her to be.

Here's my delima though. The arts are so important. I feel like I will probably require that my kids study some form of art while they are living under my roof. I just feel like they will not be complete without the arts.

Is this wrong to require this of my kids? What was/is your rule if any?

(watercooler wednesday)

Our new favorite drink

2008-07-15T23:04:00.002-05:00

Kefir is a new big drink hit at our house. The kids love it! Unfortunately, because it's kind of pricey, I have to limit their daily portions. The kids think they're drinking yogurt! Supposedly, Kefir has 10 different probiotics that help defend your body's immune system. Studies have shown that probiotics help aid in digestion and immunity.

(I was also able to buy 20 $1 coupons for Kefir on ebay for 2 dollars to help offset the cost)

Here's a great article on the benefits of probiotics.

(works for me Wednesday)

I can confirm this as true

2008-07-13T22:29:00.002-05:00

Baby's first smiles give mom's brain a buzz
Tiny grins light up reward centers that lead to quality care, study says

Any mother who's ever felt a jolt of joy at her baby’s first grin knows how intoxicating that can be.

Now, scientists at the Baylor College of Medicine say there’s more to the baby buzz than just a rush of happy feelings. Turns out that seeing your own child smile actually activates the pleasure receptors in the brain typically associated with food, sex — and drug addiction.

more here

Why go to Napa?

2008-07-10T22:22:00.002-05:00

We got a little taste of the Napa Valley but way closer to home tonight at Arrington Vineyards. My friend Seth hosted a birthday party there for his lovely wife Angela. I can't believe I haven't been there yet! It is so beautiful. You literally feel like you've entered a little piece of paradise when you turn right onto Cox road in Arrington. It's breathtaking. And the wine... Wow! It was impressive! Yes, I'm just a novice so I can get impressed easily. In my opinion, it was comparable to several of the wines I tasted in Napa though. I especially liked the Cab.

This time...

2008-07-09T08:26:00.003-05:00

So I have let you in a little on this blog about my struggle as a stay at home mom. Since I quit my job last year I have struggled with feelings of isolation and failure. Honestly my identity was to connected with my job.

Thankfully, I've been walking this road with two very patient, insightful and wise women. They listen to me talk. They hear my frustration. They continue to encourage me week after week. I can't tell you how much their friendship means to me.

Anyway, we've been reading Walking on Water by Medeleine L'Engle. Have you ever read a book and thought that there was something divine and mysterious going on as you turned the pages? Have you ever thought that a book might have been written just for you? That's how I feel about this book. Every time I read another chapter I feel lighter. The weight of all that I carry around is just lifted. Here are just a few examples of the truth and inspiration that this book contains that were meant for me:

I've long since stopped feeling guilty about taking being time; It's something we all need for our spiritual health.

We loose our ability to see Angels as we grow older, and that is a tragic loss.

people who use words are able to work out complex ideas, to see injustice, and perhaps even try to do something about it.

When language is weak, theology is weakened. (ouch)

We are all more than we know...

In moments of mystical illumination we may experience, in a few chronological seconds, years of transfigured love.

Oh, there are so many more quotes that I could add but I won't spoil it all for you. Pretty much every other line is profound and insightful.

So I will enjoy my being time. I will soak in books and language and increase my vocabulary. I will create. I will be 4 and 2 again when playing with my kids. I will remember what it was like as a kid to believe in mysterious things. I will cherish every moment of this season of my life and be thankful because it truly is a gift!

(watercooler wednesday)

2008-06-30T22:38:00.002-05:00

I planted some sunflower seeds a couple of months ago in my back yard. This past week, towering 7 feet tall, this bad boy decided to pop out.

Proof that anyone can grow flowers.

Cinderella

2008-06-23T16:26:00.003-05:00

I was in one of those moods today where I think about how short this time with my young kids actually is. I like to make myself cry when this happens. So, I started listening to Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman. I was watching a UTube video of Steven explainning why he wrote the song when I came across this video.

It made me so happy! I love the look on daddy's face and how he is singing along as he dances. He is in love.

Soapbox Moment: Christian T-shirts

2008-06-21T10:23:00.003-05:00

This morning I started the day with a fresh cup of hot coffee and my new Relevant magazine, which I'm beginning to have a love/hate relationship with. The articles I love, the ads I'm beginning to hate a little.

Apparently there's still a market for "Christian" t-shirts? I thought we ruled those out years ago as ineffective "witnessing" tools. Well, apparently not. I saw a lovely, (sarcasm) t-shirt with not so lovely graphic design and the words:

"One Man AGAINST the WORLD"

To the side you will find the word Messiah.

Now, we live in a free country. We are free to wear pretty much whatever t-shirt we choose as long as it is not intended to incite violence.

However, in my humble opinion:

THIS IS BAD THEOLOGY. It is simply wrong.

We wonder why people are not attracted to the Jesus that we know and love? We wonder why they're not coming in droves to our mega churches each Sunday to hear our perfectly packaged ministry presentations? We wonder why people are choosing new religions over Christianity?

Maybe it's because some of us are walking around with BAD THEOLOGY on our t-shirts!

I knew I was weird but...

2008-06-20T09:10:00.003-05:00

My counselor encouraged me to take the Myers Briggs personality instrument in an effort to find out what I'm all about. I've always felt different but I had no idea.

I am an INFP

I have to say, the assessment is dead on. I've never been able to describe myself because I am so unique and a bit strange at times. Often, I confuse even myself!

I discovered something really cool during this process though. Two of my hero's are INFPs: James Taylor and Princess Diana.

Friends and family: Please read the following! It will help you to understand me better.

People of this type tend to be: quiet, reserved, and kind; deeply passionate, sensitive, and easily hurt; loving and dedicated to those close to them; creative, original and imaginative; curious and flexible in small matters; nonconforming.

The most important thing to INFPs is their is their deeply held beliefs and living in harmony with their values.

Myers-Briggs description
According to Myers-Briggs, INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened.

Keirsey description
According to Keirsey, the tranquil and reserved exterior of the INFP masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion.

Occurring in only about one percent of the population, Healers can easily feel isolated. They value harmony and integrity in human relationships, seeking unity of mind, body, and spirit but often find these values to be out of step with the more concrete pursuits of the rest of the world. Feeling "different," they may wonder whether something is wrong with them. But those differences—an ethical nature, a devotion to ideals, a commitment to harmonious interaction—are in fact some of their greatest strengths.

Other descriptions
The polite, reserved exterior of INFPs can at first make them difficult to get to know. They enjoy conversation, however, taking particular delight in the unusual. When INFPs are in a sociable mood, their humor and charm shine through. Disposed to like people and to avoid conflict, INFPs tend to make pleasant company.

Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information. While they can be quite patient with complex material, they are generally bored by routine. Though not always organized, INFPs are meticulous about things they value. Perfectionists, they may have trouble completing a task because it cannot meet their high standards. They may even go back to a completed project after the deadline so they can improve it.

INFPs are creative types and often have a gift for language. As Introverts, they may prefer to express themselves through writing. Their dominant Feeling drives their desire to communicate, while their auxiliary iNtuition supplies the imagination. They enjoy metaphors and similes, having a talent for symbolism. They continually seek new ideas and adapt well to change. They prefer working in an environment that values these gifts and allows them to make a positive difference in the world, according to their personal beliefs.

SO there you have it. This is who I am.

I really enjoyed learning more about my personality and identifying my strengths and weaknesses so that I can leverage my strengths for the greater good! I would highly recommend taking this personality instrument to find our more about who you are.

A house divided

2008-06-17T18:02:00.003-05:00

On my end of the couch: A long time Lakers fan
(since the days of Magic Johnson. I still remember crying the day he announced he was HIV positive.)

On his end of the couch: A Celtics fan

I find it suspicious that we hardly ever root for the same team. Hmmm....

Anyway, GO LAKERS!

Beloved

2008-06-11T13:38:00.004-05:00

Sunday at church I learned that I am addicted to hurry. Pete talked about how hurry is an enemy of spiritual transformation. If I'm always hurrying around, then there's no time to sit and think and reflect, and be still.

Pete read this quote from Henri Nouwen:

“In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no
telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me—naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken—nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something.”

I cried because this is my life.

So, if I'm going to do this life as a follower of Jesus, I want to try to model his life. Apparently, Jesus was never in a hurry. He had alot of people around him with alot of demands. He had so much to say and do but he didn't hurry. Furthermore, He spent alot of time in solitude. What He was modeling is so important but so contrary to our culture today.

So Monday morning I decided to stop. I found Life of the Beloved and began reading. The first chapter is about being the beloved. Believing this must be our starting place. All week I've been reminding myself when I begin to feel insecure, when I feel pressure to perform, when I feel rejected or abandoned, when I feel like I'm not enough, I am His beloved.

(watercooler wednesday)

A Challenge!

2008-06-06T12:39:00.002-05:00

OK readers, the challenge is on!

As you know, times are tough financially. When the economy is hurting everyone feels it, including non-profits.

That brings me to the challenge. I NEED YOUR HELP! As you probably know, I support and organization called The Refuge Center for Counseling.

GOD IS USING THE REFUGE CENTER TO BRING HEALING AND HOPE TO MANY PEOPLE IN WILLIAMSON AND DAVIDSON COUNTY!!

The refuge center has a waiting list right now because so many people want and need counseling. I have heard some of their stories. Believe me when I say, there are so many broken, hurting people in OUR community who desperately need help! Most of their clients are women and children who are facing issues that are extremely heartbreaking. The Refuge Center is here to provide them hope!

These next couple of months are going to be financially dire if we don't do something immediately.

WE MUST MAKE SURE THE REFUGE CENTER CAN CONTINUE TO PROVIDE HOPE!

One of my fellow board members has pledged to match donations up to $7,500!

Will you help to meet and raise that challenge? If you can only give a little that's fine. Just give what you can but please give, if you can!

Please email me AS SOON AS YOU CAN at kari_slusser@hotmail.com and let me know what you would like to donate. The $7,500 matching pledge ends at the end of June! My hope is that I can go to the board meeting on Tuesday and bring lots of support from you guys with me!

Thank you!!

9

2008-06-05T08:57:00.006-05:00

10 years ago she walked into a party. She had just moved to Memphis 2 months earlier and started her first semester at UM. She met this guy at school and he invited her to a party.

He walked in with his motorcycle helmet in his hand and his leather jacket on. His dad had invited him to try this new college class at church. They were having a kickoff party. He had been kind of turned off by church in recent years but thought he would give it a try. Maybe there would be a cute girl there.

She was intrigued the moment he walked in the door. He was different than everyone else at the party. He was a little older, really cute and kind of funny. She started plotting a way to meet him.

9 years ago today she and he were both extremely nervous but very excited. They knew that their lives were about to change but they really had no idea. They vowed for better or for worse. 9 years ago today she boarded her first flight ever to Europe for the honeymoon of her dreams.

9 years later they have learned that commitment and love are a lot more challenging than they thought. They have learned and are still learning the art of grace, forgiveness, acceptance, trust and humility.

9 years later they love each other more than ever.

Thank you for these 9 years, babe. I wouldn't trade them for anything!

Happy anniversary.

Katy Perry

2008-06-03T20:13:00.002-05:00

When I first moved to Nashville I worked in marketing for Pamplin Records. One of our most promising artists was a young singer/ songwriter/ rocker named Katy Hudson. I traveled with Katy on several press and radio tours tours. She was a blast to hang with.

Katy kind of dropped off the radar until now.

Katy Hudson is now Katy Perry. Look for Katy to be the darling of the summer. Her new album drops mid June and it's already getting rave reviews. The first single is #2 on itunes. Madonna told a couple of radio stations that Katy's single is her favorite right now. Strangely enough, my first thought when I heard her new single was, "she's the new Madonna". (It's pretty crazy) She has a guest appearance on The Young and the Restless in a couple of weeks, and she just signed on to the Vans Warped Tour.

Anyway, I really am happy for Katy. She's an amazing soul and I know she's going to spread lots of love and joy throughout the world.

(Watercooler Wednesday)

It's on

2008-06-03T19:22:00.003-05:00

Obama clentches nomination

I am an addict

2008-06-01T09:24:00.002-05:00

Sync Series Promo - Full Length from Matthew Singleton on Vimeo.

Just because...

2008-05-30T21:40:00.004-05:00

I decided to get a little wild and crazy tonight and make some cupcakes!
Just because... I'm crazy like that.

Now maybe I'll get brave and actually eat one!

Our answer to the gas problem

2008-05-30T14:35:00.002-05:00

My husband just informed me that we saved $80 in our gas budget this month!

How could this be possible when every one else is paying more?
Simple. He is now carpooling to work every day with other people who live in our area and work in the same building. The downside is he can't just drop everything and come home if I'm not feeling well. The upside: He gets home earlier now and we are not being affected by the gas crisis!

My heros

2008-05-26T09:20:00.002-05:00

Today I want to honor 3 people that are close to my heart who have served our country well among many others.

My dad served in the army for several years. He was guarding the Berlin wall in Germany as they were building it and had several close calls. I love hearing the stories. Ironically, my sister was in Germany right after it went down many years later.

My father in law served in the Vietnam war. He doesn't talk too much about what he experienced there. I don't blame him.

Our brother, Ed, is serving our country in Afghanistan for the next 15 months. We're so proud of his sacrifice for our country.

This is for the solders.

Farmers Market

2008-05-25T22:30:00.002-05:00

My kids and I went to the Franklin farmer's market on Saturday. It was a great way to start off the holiday weekend. We got some amazing fresh strawberries that we have already consumed, some homemade jelly and some local wildflower honey. I also got to meet Michelle Andrade with coolmomscare.org. I love this organization and what they're doing to change the world.

Update on the RIAA article

2008-05-22T14:30:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to update you on my RIAA post yesterday. I posted a link to an article, but it went down and I have not been able to find it. This make me wonder about the validity of the article. Here's a quick synopsis:

The article alleges that RIAA wants to make people pay for putting copies of their CDs onto their computers. Right now, the general consensus in the copyright world is that it's ok to do this. It is basically making and archive copy of the product. As I did more research I found that the concern for RIAA is about putting that copy in a shared folder either intentionally or unintentionally. I can see where that might be concerning. I only hope that they will not pursue measures to make archiving on one's computer illegal as an overreaction to the problem, which they have been known to do before.

Read more here

RIAA: Ripping Your CDs is Illegal

2008-05-21T14:27:00.003-05:00

This article is disturbing to me. Hopefully RIAA will not take it this far. Sigh...

read more here

(Watercooler Wednesday)